Monday, June 16, 2014

Overcoming Obstacles

This morning felt like I was a soldier to be send off for war. Wearing my game face, armored with a braveheart and mind filled with anxiety. 

"There is no way I'm gonna lose this war without a fight. No way."

I was also able to talk to my sister and mom. And like any other family member, there support and love was 1000% as ever. 

"No way she's gonna lose this fight. I believe in her."

The day is just starting and there I was, in the battlefield. Composed and gracious and more importantly, grounded.

"There is nothing you can say or do that can ever make me feel bad or down or worthless. Nothing."

First hoorah just finished and it felt like It only just began. 

It will not matter whether I win or lose this war. What matters most is the will to try. 

Aja! Aja! Fighting! 

Shift Happens #MondayMurders

I feel like I don't deserve this
What did I do that made this happen?
Why me? 
Why now? 
It was out of control
What a mess
Shit happens

Shift happened
I feel like we get the life we deserve (the best)
What can I do to make things happen?
What is it in me? 
What now? 
I am in control of the results in my life
I am a miracle

I am more than happy to say that I will end Monday with a smile on my face, a faithful heart and strong will. I have conquered the negative thoughts that has been dominating my mind for the last few hours. I am powerful over the circumstances in my life. I am, I can. 


Stop and Smile :)

Today has been a hard day at work and it is timely that upon checking my former blog I was able to read a post on my grandmother again and suddenly I feel lighter and more inspired. All is well. All is well. 

I miss and love you Lola. Yes, I can do this! Thank you for being the reason for my smile today. 

Take care in Heaven! :)


The Last Week was the hardest week I've had since Day 1 of 2012. I was lost, got trapped in a place that seemed to be familiar. I got caught up with a lot of irrelevant issues in my present life. I was stranded in the idea that i will be okay eventually if i just let it pass but then i loss that one person who gives me hope, "fuel", love, life and even inspired the name my mom gave me. - My Lola Lucilla.

My dearest Lolabear 
 It was an hour past Sunday midnight, my sisters woke me up to inform me of the saddest news one can ever get. I cried and cried and ignored the rest of them. Then i stopped i got up and worked my ass off until the next day. I was even able to grab some drinks with my team at a bar in front of our office. I figured I'd be okay for a while if i give myself some time to deny what happened. (Grievance Phase 1: In Denial). I was on this Phase for a week until the day of the burial.

I was not able to tell even my closest friends about it. To be honest, up to this date i still don't want to talk about what happened. And if you are will ask me, how am i? Well, I am trying to be okay. I am trying to get by each day. Trying to determine what i will do now that i lost that one person that really matters, that one person that i look up to, that one person to whom i dedicated my life's struggles and  success. She was indeed, the fuel in my fire, the wind beneath my wings. I miss her so much. ;(  I have no regrets. I know i was able to show my grannybear how i love her. How i adore her love to my lolo. How i admire her being family oriented. I just. I still can't accept that she left us too soon. She left me at the moment where i needed her most.

But more than myself, I am concerned about my lolo. I can really feel that he lost more than half of himself. They have been together since they were teenagers. It was a fixed marriage. Their love for each other grew from their understanding that they want to build a better life for them and their future family. And so since then, they never left each other's side. They fought through each life's battle and conquered them all. It was an epic love story. They are the reason why i strongly believe in Love and in Happy Endings.

Their TV Exposure at Will Time Big Time

"Till death do they part"
On the Day of the Burial. I accompanied my lolo from the La Funenaria to the Holy Cross Memorial Park. I held his hand and gave him my hanky. I do not know what to tell him. I just, i want to be there for him. He told me he wants me to speak for him in front of our friends and families before we bid goodbye to Lola. He told me that he wants to let everyone know that his and Lola's Love for their families will never ever change. That even though they were not able to contribute anything due to lack of money, their love for both clans will stay as long as they live. Then i hugged him and asked him to try to smile. "Kaya natin to Lolo. :) Picture tayo." (Haha, Kabaliwan)


In that moment, I have realized that we can get through anything as long as we and our family our together. Our Love for each other will overcome all the disappointments, failures, or whatever struggle there may be. We may not be sure how to move forward without Lola. But we can start, "With a Smile". J Knowing that our Lola is in a better place now. As the father from her burial mass said, In heaven there is no sadness nor death, no sickness nor poverty. All we have to do now is thank her for the gift of life, for the caring and for the everlasting love she provided us.

2012: On my 21st Birthday

Sunday, June 15, 2014

My Love is my Power

You are what you decide to be


As cliche as it may be, its true, that we can be anyone who we want to be. Regardless of your financial capacity, status quo, degree, grades, etc., we are the sole dictator of our own, real life labels. We can get to be someone we think we are. That itself is power. 

What more if you acknowledge it? Take good use of it and bring results in your life? 

What more if you embrace it with all your heart, your soul, your might. 

I believe all of us our powerful, talented and worthy. And I hope you, yes you, finds the light that will spark the fire burning in your heart and do what you are born to do. 

Choose wisely. Happy Powerful, Awesome Monday! :)

Golden Words from a Golden Girl

Sharing with you the love and inspiration I have gotten from this woman of golden age and wisdom. 
I have known her since 2002 but only enjoyed being with her since 2010 when I stayed at her place when her roommate left for New Zealand. 
She was my second mom, a very good friend and adviser. 
She was the mother of one of my bestfriends. I call her "Titabear". 
She raised a good man that became my bestfriend. 

A mother, a teacher, a lover, a banker and businesswoman. She is beauty and love personified. And she is not hesitant to share it with the world. 

Below are a collection of her messages, notes and reminders to a young girl who i thriving to have a career. 


Rule # 1: Love your job
Rule # 2: Know your job- Put extra effort/ research extent of your work
Rule # 3: Know the people around you from top to bottom of your department in top management at least. Research but not through tsika and tsismis.
Rule # 4: Put a happy face always choose to be happy all the time. Smile a lot not halakhak.
Rule # 5: Be polite and courteous not only to your bosses but to everybody
Rule # 6: Be grateful and thankful all the time
Rule # 7; Don't pretend to know everything. There is nothing wrong is asking questions.
Rule # 8: Be diligent and hardworking
Rule # 9: Don't participate in tsismis or quarrels among employees
Rule # 10: Respect your co-workers do not bypass your immediate supervisor


Never look for love. Just fall in love. 

Pag pray mo work mo ha kasi if you are not happy sa working environment mo and meron kang resentment hindi ka magiging effective and efficient worker baka you need to move on and look for another job

Keep on praying for strength, joy and provisions to God. Be good and safe baby bear.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Mad, Passionate Love at its Finest

In the spirit of light and love, I would like to share to you something that I have read years ago and kept to myself since then. 

This article touched my soul deeply. I highlighted my favorite lines. Author is unknown. But maybe He/she is a genius or something. Or maybe just a simple loving person. or maybe a fellow who is crazy in love. or maybe just someone who experienced love at its best. 

Oh well, Oh life, Oh love. 


When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. However, when you find a new love, you may view it as a teacher. 

In the game of love, it does not really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go.

You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy.
Even if it means you’re not a part of it.

Everything happens for the best. If the person you love does not love you back, do not be afraid to love someone again, for you’ll never know unless you give it a try.

You will never love a person unless you risk for love. Love strives in hurting. If you do not get hurt, you do not learn how to love. Love does not hurt all the time. However, the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow.

Do not find love, let love find you. That is why it is called falling in love because you do not force yourself to fall. You just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters.
If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It’s a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing.

The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lost someone we love when we are destined to find someone elsewho can love us even more than we can love ourselves.

On falling in love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. Nevertheless, do not ever make the same mistakes of riding the same one who threw you the first time.
To love is to risk rejection; to love is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. However, a risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self: to love is to risk not to be loved in return.

How to define love: fall but not stumble, be constant, but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.
Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime.

Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. However, sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt in the end.

Loving people means giving them the freedom that they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that these were the things that helped you grow.

Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you will experience the fullness of humanity and that is love. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why.

If you’re not ready to cry, if you’re not ready to take the risk, if you’re not ready to feel the pain, then you’re not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love coz everytime we do, we get hurt, then I figured that it is called falling in love.

Whatever happened, don’t give up! It is just a trial. After all God will not give you a trial that you can’t handle. 
Have faith in yourself and cheer up. No matter what happens.

When you decide to love, allow it to grow. When you promise to love refuse to let it die.

* I almost cried when I read this. It was beautiful. Love is beautiful. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Bold choices x Bravery

I just got out of a job that I really loved and left it for something that I have no experience of. 
If you ask me, “how’s that choice working for you?”

I’d say I’d rather live a life of courage than comfort.
I’d say I would rather try than not.
I’d say go on, life is only limited when you set it to be.
I’d say I can be better, I can have better.
I’d say change is something inevitable. No one is ever secure.
I’d say love yourself enough to chase your dreams and jump into the unknown.
I’d say take heart, have faith and go on.

Yes, you can do it! Leave your comfort zone. 
For Comfort lies in the spirit of you being yourself and loving every piece of it.

Surrender to your greatness!
Plunge into Love
Celebrate Life!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Felt like Royalty at Queens Taj Mahal #TastyTuesday

It was a good day to write about something good yesterday. I was actually thinking what to tag or call the Tuesday portions of my blog. I was having a hard time what to call it until a friend/officemate of mine asked me to join her on a meeting with the owner of Queens Taj Mahal.

Queens Taj Mahal is located along the stretch of Jupiter in Makati City. It is in between Aristocrat and Cafe France.

Queens Taj Mahal is in the same group of Queens Bollywood in Greenbelt and Maharaja formerly in SM Southmall but is now closed. This chain of restaurants is owned by an Indian-Filipino family who moved here in Manila a few years ago.

Last night, my friend and I was able to meet the nephew of the owner and is one of the managing partners of Queens. His name is Vivek. He moved here 2 years ago for his education and is now working in one of the largest companies in the country. It was a business meeting but Sir Vivke was very friendly and hospitable that it felt like we are talking to one of our new found friends.

He started with "Have you been to an Indian restaurant before?". It was like an opening line to a good movie or something. And so I answered, "Yes in Queens at Bollywood in Greenbelt and we drank alcohol throuh that tube where you sip it and ate a bread-like food and dip it to something brown". My friend have'nt tried it. And obviously, I have no idea what I drank and ate that time.

SIr Vivek hosted dinner for us. Before the meeting started he asked Raffy, Officer in charge, to serve us Mango Lasi but instead we were served Mango Shake at first. It tasted really good and creamy but it was not what we are supposed to taste. Few minutes after, we were served with the real Mango Lasi, which is made of Indian Yogurt and Mango blended well together. You can taste the mango and also taste immediately the "kick" from the yogurt. Overall, Mango Lasi is one of the most unique and refreshing drinks I have ever tasted.

Then he asked us what do we prefer Chicken, Lamb, Fish? My friend and I both answered Chicken. And so the Chicken Biryani and Chicken Kebab was served.

Nothing can go wrong with Indian style Chicken Kebab

Chicken Biryani

Chicken Kebab was  both marinated in yogurt and grilled in charcoal. The white one was kind of sweet while the red-orange one was spicy. This, with Chicken Biryani made my tummy full and happy :)

Chicken Biryani has full white meat, cashews, raisins and some spices for a delightful partner for the Chicken Kebab. Just when we are about to leave with a smile on our faces and stomach (hehe), we are asked by Raffy to stay first as they will serve our dessert. 

Could not ask for more ;)

This one is called Cassata. It is a vegetarian Ice Cream that is served in small portions of each flavors: vanilla, strawberry and chocolate. I could not think of any other way to end a sweet and wonderful night at Queens. 

We definitely felt like royalty in that Indian Restaurant in Makati and we're sure that we will back to taste the rest of their menu offerings. 

Cheers to a Tasty, Tasty Tuesday! :)

Monday, June 09, 2014

I am better than my sickness dictates my body! #MondayMurders

Good Morning, Good Morning! I surrender to my greatness and am now blogging while riding the train. I am this awesome haha :) 

Anyway, i would like to share what i have victoriously conquered yesterday (Monday), dizziness and vomitting and that guilty feeling of not being able to report for work. It was just like any other day when i would take a bath after opening my eyes in the morning but something is changed when I stood up, i felt like the whole world was spinning slowly and i cannot stand still. I continued to take a bath, wear my office clothes on and drink water and medicine, which btw usually works. I felt nothing but vomitting after doing that and I decided not to go to work. 

Today, after hours of sleep and bedrest, with just noodles, porridge and two boiled eggs on my system, i am glad to say that I AM FEELING BETTER and STRONGER. I probably needed power rest. Superwoman is not always super you know? ;)

With an ample amount of courage, strength and love for what I do, I will face this week with high hopes that I will still be able to reach my target and do it with joy and passion. Moving forward, I promise to give my body the rest that it needed and love that it deserves. 

Cheers to a wonderful workweek ahead!

Much love, 

Sunday, June 08, 2014

Love Lost and Found

4pm, in the middle of class, a young girl received a call that her dad was brought to the hospital very far from home because he collapsed going down the jeepney and was stroke. She had to leave school early, be with her family and visit her dad.

She saw her dad's eyes filled with tears and sadness as she and her two other sisters come in the room. She hugged her dad, thanking God that he was still alive. The youngest of the three hugged her dad as well and cried a little loud. The middle child remained silent. Sound of tears, thankful, sad teardrops surrounded the hospital room. The old man apologized for everything he has done and he said he might not make it.

Unlike any other days, the man lying on the bed, seemed to be a weak, frail version of the young girl's dad. "This is just a dream, a really, really bad dream", she said to herself. But reality slapped her in the face, when she realized she is waking up with her dad on the other room every day, no longer reporting for work, unable to move half of his body, cannot speak clearly and is stubborn than ever. He would be upset if he is not eating normally. He has therapy sessions weekly. And when he wants something and we cannot understand it, he will loudly cry in frustration.

It has been a tough 10 years for the family. He got better eventually. Better physically, as he grew strength from his regular sessions with the therapist. Though he still needed his cane, He became capable of walking straight from our home to the store on the other street. Even though his words are still tied up, people can understand his sentences better. More importantly, the old man seemed to be more expressive on his love and appreciation for his family. There was a time when the young girl got into a fight with an older man and when she came home crying, Dad was persistently pushing to go out and get back at the old man. There was also a time when he was sitting in front of our gate, seemingly waiting for someone or something to happen, and their neighbor's house was burning in fire. His family was still sleeping that time and he wanted to call their attention. Dad banged the gate for a lot of time to wake his family up and get their attention. He was shouting at the top of his lungs just to save his family and home from burning also.

Actions worked better with the old man, He made words unnecessary in communicating love and care to the people around him. Yes, he was stubborn at times but the family thought since then that everything will now be okay. Dad was getting better, The Mom's getting stronger and the young girl was getting wiser and older.

Seasons changed, years passed and there they are. Dad was joyfully spending his days at home, Mom was persistently working hard for the family, the younger sisters have grown to high school and college and that young girl from the beginning, the eldest in the family, is now on her senior year in college. She was the first granddaughter who will graduate in college that time. And though it has become somewhat a struggle, what the family then was doing was to wait until Graduation come and celebrate the first "victory" in the family.

Struggle in the waiting became misery when a call in August 24, 2009 was received by the young girl, 7 months and 7 days away from graduation, she got a call from her sister that Dad was not able to wake up from his siesta and that she needs to go home immediately after class because they need to fix the wake and everything.

It felt like a shooting star landing at the very bottom of her heart. Time stopped and world stood still. The young girl was shocked and didn't know what or how to feel. "Is this even real?" she said to herself. "Is this really happening? Because if this is just a dream, I would really like to wake up now." She couldn't bear it. Her feet was stucked in the position where she received the call. "What did I do to deserve this? I'm about to graduate without a father...One day I am going to marry someone I love, without my father."

And so she cried. Cried in the wake. Cried on the mass that was done before the burial. Cried before and after his cremation. Cried in the restroom of her school. Cried in the jeepney. Cried on her graduation. Cried on her way to her first job. Tears was uncontrollable. She felt like she was being miserable. And thought, "If i die now, I wouldn't want my mom or any of my love ones to be this miserable or sad when they think of me...I want them to smile and feel that I am still around. That death could not even surpass how much I love them." It had to stop, the sadness in her life. She had to move on.

One day, a good friend invited the young woman to a church named Victory. "Worship Night", her friend said and the young woman was okay with it. They entered a very clean and nice building, rode up to escalator. You can hear the singing of people from outside. Doors opened, colorful spotlights are everywhere, hands are raised, music was loud and lyrics was posted on a big screen.

"You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And 'til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home, I'll trust in You"

It will not come as a surprise if the young woman cried again that moment. This time with joy in her heart, knowing, feeling that she will see her dad again. Realizing that the key to happiness moving forward, is the fact that her dad was part of every good thing that is happening to her and for the greater things that await her.

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Strawberries and Sunshine

You know when you're tired and would like to pause for a while and have a donut. You'd go down the office, buy one, and after a bite of that Strawberry filled Dunkin Donut, all of a sudden, you will feel at ease and energized to move on and finish what you have to. In my life, that Dunkin Donut was Sunshine. :)

The person I am referring to is a former top manager in my last work and she preferred to be hidden under the name of Snow White for privacy purposes. Sunshine is a woman of power, grace and love. She is an epitome of the leader, lover, daughter, trainor, and 50 year old woman that I would like to be. This post is dedicated to her who inspired me to live my life to the fullest; to take things lightly and positively and more importantly, to stay grounded and kind always.

She always walks in the room with a smile on her face, light in her eyes and a warm hello. Normally, she will ask how you have been and offer you a snack or drink. She is the type of boss that knows how to completely trust her people that they are capable and at their best when executing tasks. She is the type who will reward you well after a job well done and provide you "the talk" when she knows you have something to improve on. More importantly, she knows how to correct people with love.

With so much love, that I have realized after a year that our heart to heart talk was one of the foundations of why I pushed myself to become better at my work then. I am embracing openness and vulnerability as I share a part of the loving email she sent me.

Her courage and love worked. She was frank and very clear with her intentions. And because I would like to share the light she is giving in my life, I asked her to answer some answer some of the questions from our magical query box and convinced her to share! (Yey!)

Name the Top 3 Dream Jobs you’d like to have
"Christiane Amanpour in CNN, President’s Chief of Staff or President of the Philippines and to where my passion is; preparing special trips for people in a cost-effective way"

(Side Note: One of the things I love about her is that she is well-traveled and she has been to a lot of places around the globe.)

What images come to your mind when you are asked about your childhood?
"Beaches and pine trees. Also airplanes. That's because when i was young we always go to Baguio, Batangas, and ride airplanes all the time."

You are the judge for the coolest book ever written, what book would get the award?
"Tuesdays with Morrie, Everything from Nicholas Sparks and Danielle Steele. You know in life, you must always be reading a book. It helps in making conversations and connecting with people more."

If you had to write a book about your life, what would be its title?
"Love, Life and Relationships or Live the Moment" (Pak!)

What invention would you like to offer the world today?
"A Time Machine" (That’s so thoughtful of you ma’am J )

If you could choose one person who would remain youthful forever, who would it be?
"My Mom because she is my bestfriend and I want her to be as young as me forever"

What's the best advice you'd give to yourself today?
"Do not be impulsive and choose wisely"                

(Side Note: In need of a good advice, she always have one! ;) )

For you, what is the "perfect man" or "perfect woman"?
"A perfect man is someone who is so accomplished and secure of himself that he is capable to admit his mistakes and is sensitive enough to commiserate feelings"

If you had to be a lifeless object for a day, what would it be?
"I'd be the windows on the Empire State Building" 

Complete this sentence: " I am the only person I know who_________"
"I am the only person I know who  enlists the money (bills and coins) that go in and out of my wallet. I am the only person I know who has so many rituals before sleeping, most especially, I cannot sleep without lotion in my feet."

Describe your dream home
"Well, you are looking at it right now what's missing yet is the infinity pool"

Who would you like to meet and spend the whole day with? (Can be someone from the past)
"Oprah Winfrey. You know after everything she has been thru. And on her last interview she said: “I am at the point in my life where I am, is who I truly am and I am just learning to enjoy it.”

Which year would you wanted to last twice as long?
"1998 Brazilian Cruise"

If you were given a chance to pick the 8th natural wonder, what would you choose?
"Hmm. 8th Natural Wonder of the World will be either Reefs of Palau Micronesia or Glaciers of Alaska"

Beginning of my #MondayMurders

Good Morning, Good Morning Monday!! Out of all the 7 days in a week, Mondays are usually labeled as the worst or hated. For some, it is the beginning of a hell week at work or school. For some, it serves as the fresh start to be better than their last week. 

I for one used to hate Mondays. Number one because of the traffic and/or long lines to the train and number two because of the people's attitude about it-Tired to exist, too lazy to function, or whatever. It gets me. It gets me so much that I let it affect my whole day. If we will evaluate all the mondays of my life, most of it are unproductive or forgettable. 

But you know, today I am choosing differently. I am welcoming every week with victory and a smile on my face and I will call this act Hashtag Monday Murders (#MondayMurders). 

I will make June 2, 2014, a beginning of a new tradition in my life. And maybe, just maybe, I can make a difference in the coming Mondays of my remaining life. :) And for my first #MondayMurder post I will share with you my daily struggle and my new attitude about it.